Losing The War On Wokeness: Washington Football Team Officially Changes Its Name To “Commanders”

Having lost the war on wokeness, the former Washington Redskins have officially changed their name to the “Washington Commanders”.

The news was announced on Wednesday morning, about a year and a half after the company “announced they would be known as the Washington Football Team until the team chose a permanent name,” according to fan site Hogs Haven. 

The site called the renaming an “ugly process that has caused division in the fan base, and left people feeling like they lost a part of their childhood, their family history, and their community.”

Or, as the left-wing lunatics who complained about the name in the first place call it: “a great success”. 

The process to change the name included fans being asked for submissions and fan ambassadors being created “in an attempt to figure out how the team could win back a fanbase that was tired of losing, and tired of being used and ignored.”

Fans fixated on the names “Warriors and Redwolves,” according to the fan site, but they were promptly shut down by Team President Jason Wright.

The team wanted a “military connection” with its name, the site says. And, according to the pulse of the fan base, not everyone is excited about the name change. 

“To some fans this is the final straw that will allow them to cut ties to the organization that they don’t recognize anymore,” Hogs Haven wrote. 

One legacy. One unified future.

We are the Washington Commanders #TakeCommand pic.twitter.com/Eav9NOV5Mm

— Washington Commanders (@Commanders) February 2, 2022

With the important stuff behind the team now, the only minor detail left is to figure out a way to start winning games again.